Peyton's Memories
by LPhhrdcLover
Summary: A woman struggles to gain back her life after an accident. Seeking after not only who she was, but who she is now. As she rediscovers her life will she be able to get a happily ever after, or will haunting flashes of her past make her lose everyting?
1. Chapter 1

**Peyton's Memories **

**Chapter 1**

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An oddly familiar smell filled her senses. She couldn't quite identify what the smell was. As the unpleasant scent seemed to increasingly swell around her she began to get the distinct feeling that she had bad memories associated with this smell. She slowly began to blink her eyes open. An ugly green color filled her vision, blinking a few times to clear her vision she was able to see the green colored wall in focus. Her eyebrows crinkled slightly in confusion. She would never choose such an awful color for her bedroom walls, and as she thought that the idea of red colored walls came to her and she immediately liked the idea. She was sure this wasn't her room, but that then begged the question of whose room was it. She turned her head to look at the rest of the room but as soon as she had moved her head she felt a white hot shock of pain ripple through her head. She immediately squeezed her eyes shut in shock and pain. Her hand went up to tenderly touch her head where the pain had been centered and she felt material on her forehead. Her fingers grazed the material and followed along it, finding it to stretch around her head. She began to feel panic rising in her as her eyes shot open. With her head turned she now saw the room she was inhabiting. A counter with a sink lined the wall, various cabinets were above the counter, the other wall had a large window in the middle of it with its shades pulled closed so she couldn't see outside, in the corner was a television mounted on the wall, and finally a closed door. Her panic rose as she realized the truth of her suspicion, she was in the hospital. She felt an overwhelming hatred for the place, but she couldn't put her finger on why. She closed her eyes again, and took a deep breathe, trying to calm her nerves. Being in the hospital unsettled her, but what upset her even worse than that was the fact that she had no idea why she was here. She was trying to recall what had happened to get her here, but she couldn't come up with anything, it was just a blank. The longer her eyes were closed the more she felt her body calling her to sleep. Giving up with trying to recall the memory of what got her in the hospital for the time being she allowed herself to slip back into unconsciousness.

She felt herself slowly coming out of the deep state of dreams, her hopes that waking in a hospital room had been part of her dreams quickly being dashed as she smelt the same scent wafting to her nose. She hesitantly opened her eyes. The room held all the same sights as she had observed before, only with one difference; there was someone sleeping hunched over in the chair beside her bed. Her eyes scanned over the weary looking figure, cheeks red and eyes blotchy alluding to the likelihood of having cried earlier. The woman's short, dark brown hair fell around her face, her neck bent in what she could imagine had to be an uncomfortable position. The woman wore little make-up, her gentle and naturally beautiful features not needing it. As she continued to examine the woman in the chair she began to wonder why she was here in her room. She did not recognize the woman, and wasn't sure how to react to her being here. She wanted answers as to why she had been hospitalized, and this woman may be able to tell her, but why would a stranger be sitting by her bedside? As she was debating with herself whether to wake the woman or not the brunet began to stir. She watched her carefully as she began to awake. The woman turned her neck in order to clear it of the kinks it must have had from that uncomfortable position. She sighed and sat up in her chair, still not having noticed that she wasn't the only one awake in the room. She stretched further and then bent down to gather up her coat that must have fallen to the floor as she slept. It was as she was rising from piking up her coat that the woman finally turned her eyes towards her. Brown eyes met green. The woman froze in shock. Neither woman moved for several long moments. The brunet let out a deep breathe watching her with wonderment as her eyes began to fill with tears. Suddenly the woman launched herself at her, throwing her arms around her, in a small whisper uttering words she only just made out as,

"Peyton. Oh Peyton." She was shocked when this woman suddenly lunged at her, and was now hugging her. She couldn't say she liked it very much, she wasn't a very touchy-feely person with anyone, let alone strangers. She felt increasingly uncomfortable as she felt dampness soaking into her gown, the woman had released the tears she had seen in her eyes earlier, and was currently spilling them all over her shoulder. She didn't know what to do. She wasn't hugging her back, but yet she felt a small urge to comfort the upset woman that was clinging to her tightly. This was all so confusing, and she was starting to get frustrated with the strangeness of the situation.

She gave the woman a small pat on the back and then cleared her throat getting ready to speak for the first time since she had woken in the hospital. She stopped for a moment wondering just how long it had been since she was here. Shaking herself out of her thoughts she continued to clear her throat and finally managed to croak out a question, though it wasn't any of the ones she was desperate for the answer of.

"Are you alright?" The gravely sound of her voice was barely recognizable, and she realized the immense dryness of her throat. Her voice seemed to shake the woman out of her state and she finally moved back away from her. She gave a nod in answer to her question, with a small smile on her face. Wiping her eyes hastily she went over to the sink pouring a cup of water, then bringing it over to her. She accepted the cup gratefully, bringing it to her lips and drinking it greedily. She felt the cool liquid slide down her throat, and sighed at the relief it brought. She looked back up at the woman and gave a small smile of thanks.

"Better?" The woman asked as she watched her intently.

"Yeah." Was the simple reply she came up with for the confusing but kind stranger.

"Oh Peyton," the brunet sighed again, "I'm so glad your awake and alright. You gave us all quite a scare. How are you feeling?" Her mind raced at the few things the woman had just said to her. She had said she was alright, so whatever happened must have been taken care of and wasn't to drastic at least, which was a large relief to the curly blonde laying in the hospital bed. But who was this 'we' she had referred to? Who had she scared? The woman apparently counted herself in that group, but why would she be scared for someone she doesn't know? And why was she acting as if she did know her? She had never seen this woman before, and she was starting to wonder about the woman's clarity of mind. Being true to her nature she decided to go the direct route.

"Who are you?" The curly blonde's scratchy voice croaked out. The brunet crinkled her eyebrows together in confusion, starring at her for a few moments.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, who are you?" The blonde asked with growing irritation. She couldn't help but wonder what was with this woman.

"Peyton, I don't get it." The woman said with increased confusion, her big brown eyes searching the other woman questioningly, hoping this was some of Peyton's famous snarky sarcasm. The blonde let out a frustrated sigh before responding,

"What is so difficult about that question? I've asked it twice already, don't make me ask again. And why do you keep calling me Peyton?" The brunet's eyes widened, gazing at her with a unreadable expression. She stepped away from the bed.

"You mean, you don't know who I am?" She asked slowly as if talking to a child. The curly blonde chose not to respond verbally, not trusting herself to not let out an even more sarcastic remark if she spoke, nodded her head in the affirmative. The woman closed her eyes and let out a heavy breath. When she opened here eyes again to settle on the woman in the hospital bed, her eyes reflected both fear and worry. Her reaction only fueled the blonde's confusion, but before she could say anything more the woman turned abruptly around and left the room quickly.

Several long minuets went by until the door opened once again. Only the person who entered wasn't the brunet, but was a doctor.

"Well, its nice to see you awake again." The tall doctor said as she walked in.

"How long have I been out?" The curly blonde asked anxiously.

"You've been out for about a week and a half." The doctor responded as she scanned over a clipboard that had been hanging on the end of her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got run over." She responded instantly, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth she cringed with a scary thought.

"Oh crap, is that what happened? Did I get run over?" The doctor than walked over to beside her bed.

"I see Mrs. Scott was right. You don't remember anything about what happened?" The

doctor asked kindly as she looked over her carefully.

"No, I don't. Why is that? And what did happen? Please don't beat around the bush." She shot out impatiently. The doctor offered her a small somewhat sad looking smile, sympathy written all over her face as she continued her questioning.

"Is there anything that you can remember?" The blonde couldn't help but roll her eyes at the doctor's insistence about not informing her about what had happened to herself.

"About what? What happened to me? No, I already told you I can't remember anything about it. So would you maybe mind-"

"No, I don't mean just about what happened to you a week and a half ago, I mean do you remember _anything_?" The blonde starred at her incredulously.

"Anything?"

"Anything." The blonde resisted the temptation to roll her eyes again, deciding to just go along with what the doctor wanted so that maybe if she gave her what she wanted the doctor would finally tell her what was going on. She paused for a minuet trying to recall any random memory to satisfy the doctors questioning. The blonde's eyebrows crinkled together and lips pursed. After several long seconds she squeezed her eyes shut in concentration. She felt confusion, frustration and panic overwhelm her. She couldn't think of anything. Nothing. She was drawing a complete blank. She tried harder and harder just to think of something simple, anything...but nothing came. Her history was a complete blank to her. She had no idea who she was. Her eyes snapped open and she starred at the doctor with wide-eyed panic.

"What's wrong with me?" The confused blonde asked just above a whisper, afraid of the answer. The doctor sighed slightly before answering her question.

"Now Peyton, I know this is going to be hard to understand, but you were in an accident the other week. You hit your head rather hard, which is why you were unconscious for the past week and a half. That blow to the head also seems to have caused you to have amnesia. This is something that we had no way of detecting before you woke up, it was only just now when Mrs. Scott came and reported that you were unable to identify her that we became aware of the situation. Because of this we don't know the extent of the damage or any details about it. However, now that we know, our next step is to run some tests and see what we can find out. I'll go get Dr. Bernstein and he'll talk you through more this, and ask you some more questions to see if he can't jog some of that memory." The doctor finished with her min-speech, offered one more small smile and walked out of the room again. The curly blonde sat there in shock. As soon as she had realized she was unable to recall any memory, she had feared that it had something to do with amnesia, but she had hoped she was wrong. Apparently she wasn't wrong, and this is one time she wished she was. Her brain spun with all the information the doctor had given her. She then swore under her breathe in annoyance realizing the doctor still hadn't told her what the accident was that she was involved in.

So apparently she had known that woman who was in here earlier. It was a very strange feeling knowing she should remember someone when she didn't. She wondered who the woman was to her. Was she a family member? A friend? She must have been someone close to her for her to have visited long enough to have fallen asleep beside her bed. She remembered the brunet's look of confusion and hurt when she hadn't known who she was. She wished she could remember...she just couldn't. She closed her eyes as the weight of everything began to suffocate her. This was to much to handle. She didn't know what to do. How did someone go about bringing back memories? She hoped that this Dr. Bernstein would be able to shed some light on how she was supposed to do that. She was putting all her energy into that hope, because if she didn't she could feel she would be completely falling into an abyss of confusion. She couldn't let that happen. She had to keep together. She had to be strong enough. She hated being weak. She wouldn't allow herself to be weak. And most especially, she would not allow herself to cry. This other doctor was going to be coming in soon, and she would be dammed before she was caught crying by anyone, let alone someone she had never even met... Then again, maybe she had met this doctor before, but she just didn't remember it. That thought was what broke her resolve, a single hot tear running down her cheek. She angrily brushed it away. But once the first tear had fallen it had opened the damn, and no matter how determined she was to stop them, they just kept pouring down her face.

X

The brunet turned around for about the fiftieth time, continuing her pacing that she had been doing for almost twenty minuets now. What was it about hospitals that made time seem to slow down to an absolutely torturously slow speed. Why couldn't people just get their butts in gear and move faster? She groaned out in frustration as she turned around again pacing back in the same direction she had just come from. A few minuets later she heard the sound of the elevator doors opening behind her, but she had learned to not hope that it was him, because she had gotten her hopes up only to be disappointed to many times to count within the last twenty-five minuets. But when she heard her name called, and instantly recognized his voice, she whipped around to be greeted by a frantic, but yet excited, look on her best-friend's face as he quickly approached her.

"Hales." He whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug. She hid her face against his chest as his arms gave her a brief sensation of safety and comfort, bringing her back to days when things were so much simpler and innocence still remained. He pulled out their embrace but stayed close to her, as if knowing she needed his presence to help keep her calm. He noticed the tears on her face and brought up a hand to gently brush them away. He looked at her understandingly, but then his face broke out into a huge smile.

"She's awake. Hales, its okay now, everything is going to be okay, 'cause she's awake." She looked up at him sadly. When she had called him to tell him the news she had only been able to get out that Peyton had finally woken up, she was about to tell him the rest but he had immediately said he was coming to the hospital right away. She hadn't even been able to get in another word before he had hung up. She saw the hope and happiness shining in his eyes in a way that she hadn't seen in a long time, and she hated the idea of seeing that leave his eyes again, let alone being the one to do it to him.

"I'm not so sure Lucas." She said quietly. He squinted at her in slight confusion, but his smile only wavered a bit in his confusion, seemingly not able to dowse his good spirits. She spoke again before he would ask what she meant, she would have to tell him, but avoiding it for even just a few moments seemed a good idea. "Where are the kids?"

"Nathan's with all of them. I told him what happened and he said he didn't mind watching them, as long as we didn't take to long for one of us to get back there so he could come see her too." She simply nodded.

"I'm going to go see her." He said quickly starting off down the hallway, but her voice made him turn to her again.

"You can't right now Luke, she's with a doctor, they're doing some kind of tests."

"What kind of tests?" He asked curiously, the first sign of worry flickering in his eyes since he had come back to the hospital.

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	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter, it was encouraging. Feedback is always appreciated, and I love hearing what everyone thinks!

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 2**

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Haley sighed and walked over to Lucas, taking his hand in hers.

"Lucas, they...I was there when she woke up." He nodded, looking at her questioningly. "When she woke up, Luke, she didn't know who I was." Haley said slowly trying to break the news to her best friend.

"What, I don't understand. What do you-"

"Lucas, I think she has amnesia." He starrd at her incredulously with shock. "Luke, she didn't know who I was, she didn't have an idea at all." Haley told her friend sadly, the memory of Peyton looking at her so blankly made her eyes tear up again. She shook her head trying to clear her eyes of the fog of tears that had assaulted them again, looking back at her friend. He didn't say anything. He just stood there, apparently speechless while trying to process what she had just told him. Just than they heard the doctor speaking to them as she approached.

"Oh Mr. Scott, good you're here." Lucas turned in the doctor's direction as she approached them.

"Dr. Colson, what's happening?" He asked her still feeling dazed from what Haley had just told him, but desperate for more information.

"Well, as I'm sure you've been told Peyton has woken up." She offered a smile, but neither Lucas nor Haley returned it, both knowing there was more to come. The doctor continued, "however, there does seem to be a complication." Lucas looked at her expectantly. "I'm sorry Mr. Scott, but it seems she is unable to recall anything from before the accident. She seems to have amnesia, from what we can gather so far it seems to be retrograde amnesia to be exact. She cannot recall a single memory thus far from before the accident, however, she is remembering things from after she woke up about a half hour ago, like her encounter with Mrs. Scott," the doctor nodded towards Haley, "what I spoke to her when I first saw her, and so forth. Of course it is a bit early to tell if these will stay with her, but if she's remembering them at this point she most likely won't have a problem with remembering anything happening in the present, it will just be memories from before the accident that she is going to have a struggle to remember."

"What caused this?" Lucas asked trying his best to stay calm.

"As you know she had a harsh blow to the head, with any such head injury there is possibility for this type of thing to occur."

"How long until she remembers?" He asked desperately, wishing he didn't sound so weak when he asked his next question, "she will remember won't she?" Haley's eyes darted from Lucas back to the doctor waiting with baited breathe when the doctor seemed to hesitate slightly.

"Well, Lucas with this type of injury, we just can't know. It is most likely that she will eventually remember, but there is possibility that she won't. If she does remember, it could take anywhere from a few hours, a few days, weeks, in some cases even years. I'm sorry. We can't do much at this point, its mostly up to her, but we can try to help where we can." Lucas's face had turned pale and he seemed to be having trouble standing, his body swaying slightly.

"What, what types of things can be done to try to help her?"

"She's in with a specialist now who's assessing what he can. Telling her some things about her life might help to jog her memory, or being in familiar places, doing familiar routines, being with the same people, al these things could help. However, like I said before, its mostly up to her." Both Lucas and Haley simply nodded, not knowing what to say in that moment. Haley put her hand on Lucas's arm trying to help steady him. "We'll let you know when she's done with Dr. Bernstein and then you can go in and see her. However," The doctor said looking hesitant, "I would suggest you be careful about what you say, and how you act. You have to keep in mind that she doesn't remember either of you at the moment. As much as telling her some things about her life may help her remember, telling her to much to fast could overwhelm her. We need her to stay calm, and not get overwhelmed. So, as hard a thing I know I'm asking of you, for sure for now, please be careful to limit what you tell her about who you are." Lucas looked absolutely overwhelmed himself, apparently trying to process everything, didn't even respond. So Haley gave a nod as answer for both of them. And as the doctor left, she led Lucas over to the waiting area and sat him down.

"Lucas, are you alright?" Haley asked him concerned. Lucas sighed, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly.

"I was just getting her back Hales. I just got her back, and now this? I got her back, but...not really?" Haley sighed, wishing she had words to comfort her friend, but was feeling so lost herself at the moment she was struggling to be optimistic for him. She put forward what felt to be a feeble attempt of comfort.

"Luke, the doctor said it might only be for a few days, or even hours."

"Yeah, she also said it could be a couple weeks, months, or _years_." He said as he looked straight into her eyes. His voice hitched slightly as he whispered, "if she even does at all." She understood how he felt, she was feeling the same sense of pessimism and fear about he whole situation. But she couldn't just sit by and let him spiral down into such a state of hopelessness so soon. She knew the thought of losing her was stifling him, but she had to remind him that he always believed in her and how strong she was. They had to have faith she'd come back to them. They just had to.

"Lucas, you can't think that way. You just can't. We need to stay optimistic about this. Yes, there is possibility for it to be really bad, but its less likely than the possibility that it won't take her that long to remember. And the doctor said that being with familiar people could help, so who knows, maybe when she sees you it will help her remember." Haley offered him hopefully with a forced small smile on her face. He looked at her intently and she was sure he saw through her fake facade of hopefulness, and saw her sense of fear and apprehension, but apparently choosing it better to not call her out on it, he nodded. She felt somewhat comforted by the pretense of optimism they then allowed to surround them. She took a deep breath before saying,

"I should call Nathan and let him know all the details." Lucas simply nodded in response. She put a comforting hand on his arm for a moment before getting up and walking out of the waiting room to find somewhere to use her cell phone to call her husband.

X

"Alright, now that we're done here for now, Peyton I believe there are some people who would like to see you." The doctor said as he headed toward the door to her hospital room. Peyton let out a breath and laid her head back on her pillow, resting her eyes until a few minuets later she heard the door open once again. When she looked up she saw the same brunet she had seen earlier that evening, and a tall blonde haired man walk into the room. She saw the brunet seemed to have gained her composure since she had last seen her, when she had fled the room, and Peyton was grateful for this. She then turned her attention to the man, who had a conflicted look upon his face, he looked happy and relieved, and yet also sad and troubled. Curious about the strange combination of emotions he seemed to be reflecting, she studied him closer. Looking straight into his blue eyes her breathe caught from the storm emotion easily seen in them. His look was intense and she soon found herself growing uncomfortable from the intensity of this stare, and thus drew her eyes away from him, looking down at the blanket on her bed instead. After a moment of strained silence the other woman spoke.

"How are you feeling Peyton?" Peyton looked up at her, grateful for the distraction from the man, who she could feel was still starring at her intensely.

"Alright, I guess. My head hasn't stopped throbbing, but they said that would probably stop soon. And I'm exhausted, which you wouldn't think that I would be seeing as I've been sleeping for a week and a half," the blonde attempted at some humor, but neither the woman or the starring blonde seemed to find it amusing, "its just a lot to digest I guess." She ended lamely, the awkwardness of the situation becoming increasingly stifling.

"That's perfectly understandable." The brunet said and nodded in agreement. "This all must be very confusing for you." Peyton offered her a small smile, and then returned her gaze to the man. He was no longer watching her, but had instead appeared to find extreme interest in his shoes.

"I'm not sure if they told you," the woman started saying, calling Peyton's attention back to her, "but I'm Haley."

"Haley Scott right?" Peyton asked, and as soon as she did the man's head shot back up to look at her, and the woman, Haley, looked at her surprised and stuttered when she began to speak,

"What-did you-" Peyton, however, realized what they were thinking and interrupted her quickly.

"That's what the doctor called you, Mrs. Scott."

"Oh." Haley breathed out simply, the hope that had sparked in her eyes quickly fading. Peyton heard a slightly shaky breath being released, and she turned to see the man to her left side pushing a hand through his hair.

"And you are...?" She asked the man who had yet to say a single word since they had entered. He looked down at her with an unidentifiable expression. He didn't say anything for a few moments, as if wishing if he didn't say anything she would jump in and fill in the blank for him. When she didn't do so, and continued to look at him blankly, he closed his eyes and managed to whisper his name,

"Lucas." She eyed him curiously, what an odd man, she thought. Did he always act this way, or was it the situation? If it was the situation, she thought that he was having a harder time dealing with it than she was.

"Well," Haley said nervously, "I think I'm going to go find myself some coffee, you two can chat." She gave a meaningful look at Lucas before heading towards the door. Peyton panicked a bit at the impending increase of awkwardness.

"Your coming back soon right?" She called out slightly desperately to Haley who was almost out the door. It was strange and uncomfortable being in the room with either one of these people she couldn't remember, but he woman at least seemed to ease the tension slightly. Whereas she had no idea what to do with this quiet man who seemed to enjoying starring at her rather than talking to her. Haley turned back toward her and gave her a genuine smile.

"Sure, once I find some coffee." Haley giving Lucas another intent look before going out the door. And they were alone. She glanced at him, but he seemed content to look anywhere but at her. She tried to think of something to say, but was drawing a blank. What did one say to someone they should remember but didn't? She wished he'd initiate something, say something, or even look at her again, at least it'd give her something to do in the awkwardness. As if reading her thoughts his gaze then landed back on her. After several long moments of their polite starring she wanted to take back her wish. She wasn't sure what it was about this man's gaze, but it made her feel very uncomfortable. It was like he saw her, really saw her, right down into her soul. It was like he knew her inside and out. Than again, he did know her, she just didn't know him. And not knowing how much this man knew about her, when she knew nothing about him was an unsettling feeling. She wanted to pull her eyes away from his gaze, but for some reason couldn't seem to do so.

X

Haley sighed as she let the hot liquid slide down her throat, craving the comfort the steaming cup of coffee offered. She began to walk back towards Peyton's room, wondering if she had given Lucas and Peyton enough time alone. Peyton had seemed nervous about being alone with Lucas, and Haley couldn't say she could blame her considering Lucas was having trouble forming words let alone a sentence. She was somewhat confused by her friend's behavior, it seemed as if he had reverted back to the way he had been around Peyton when they were in tenth grade, watching her from afar but not daring to speak to her. She had seen that boy spend countless hours brooding over the curly blonde. She knew how difficult the last week and a half had been for Lucas, and it appeared to finally be taking its toll. She had barely been able to convince Lucas to go home, take a shower and rest for a few hours today while she came and sat with Peyton. She bet he was kicking himself now since he hadn't been here right away when she had waken up. Finding out about Peyton's memory had seemed to be his breaking point. He had seemed so weak and helpless in that moment, and the memory of it gave her a shiver. She rarely saw her best friend broken like that, he was usually the strong one, and it was heartbreaking for her to see. Haley supposed that was her answer though, Lucas was heartbroken, and once again the source of his heartbreak was the curly blonde. Lucas and Peyton had been through a lot in their relationship, and Haley had seen to many times that whenever Lucas was hurt by Peyton he crawled into his shell. He was once again hiding, hiding from his heartbreaker, but at the same time hiding from the only thing that kept his heart beating. It always came back to Peyton with him, Haley had seen it be that way ever since he had first seen her. This wasn't the time for him to be hiding in his protective shell though. Just as she thought this, the source of her musing came into her line of vision. He was leaning forward, hands clutching to the window ledge, starring outside, with a distant look on his face. He was brooding. Haley was surprised he wasn't still in with Peyton, and she made her way over to him.

"Luke?" She asked tentatively.

"I couldn't stay in there." He said in a quiet voice, still starring out the window at nothing in particular. Haley shifted positions, leaning against the wall in order to see his face better, before softly inquiring.

"Why not?" He shook his head slowly, taking a moment to try to find the right words.

"It was to hard." He said simply. "It was to hard being there with her, but not having her know." Haley understood, but she had to get him to understand that he couldn't hide himself away right now, Peyton needed him.

"Luke, I know its hard, but you need to be there, she needs you. She always needs you, but especially now."

"I know Haley." He said sharply, then taking a calming breath before proceeding. "And I will be, of course I will. I'll always be there for her." A small smile twitched on his lips with what he said next. "I love being that guy for her." But the faint smile that had appeared quickly disappeared when he continued. "But tonight, its just to much, I can't handle it. All I wanted to do was to run over to her, pull her into my arms, tell her everything was going to be alright, and just hold her." His voice gained a noticeable strain, "but I couldn't. She doesn't know me, she doesn't remember. And I couldn't tell her because we're not supposed to 'overwhelm her.'"

"Well, you can tell her soon. I mean the doctor just doesn't want things to come on to fast. It won't be for long Luke, I'm sure of it, she said she just didn't want us to bombard her eith everything right away. And besides she might even remember before we need to tell her anything." Haley rambled, trying to offer him optimism. Lucas responded with a simple,

"Yeah, maybe."

"What did you say when you were in there? Did you tell her anything?"

"No. No I didn't say anything about us." Lucas said with a slight tone of bitterness to his voice, which quickly faded to sad resignation. "Actually, I didn't say anything at all."

"Lucas-" Haley started in what seemed to be a disapproving tone, but Lucas cut her off before she could continue.

"I just couldn't tonight Hales. I'll make it up to her tomorrow. I just," He ran his hand through his hair, and finally turned to look at her, "I just need some rest. I'll be better tomorrow. I should probably go relieve Nathan of the kids so he can come see her. You gonna stay?"

"I think I'll come with you. I can take care of the kids, get them ready for bed and everything, that way you can just go right to bed yourself and rest." He smiled at her gratefully, putting an arm around her shoulders they began their walk to the elevators.

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	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **Thanks so much for the reviews, they are always appreciated!

For those who were wondering, yes you will get to see some of what happened in the past, partly through Lucas and others telling her about things trying to jog her memory, and also in flashbacks (in true one tree hill style!) along the way as Peyton begins to search her memories. And I also wanted to say that if I don't answer any questions you have asked in your review it will be because you weill eventually learn it in the fic itself.

Enjoy!

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**Chapter 3**

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"Hey Swayer." Peyton lifted her gaze when she heard the deep voice, finding a tall, dark haired man leaning against the doorframe. His voice casual, but his eyes revealed simultaneous concern and relief.

"News sure travels fast around here."

"Its Tree Hill, you shouldn't expect anything else." Nathan responded, a small smile appearing on his face. Peyton pushed herself up into more of a sitting position.

"I must be popular, you're the third person who's come to see me since I woke, which only a few hours ago." Nathan's smile turned into a full smirk thinking about all the sarcastic ways he could respond to her comment, but considering the situation he chose to go for a more serious approach, at least at first.

"I would have been here sooner if I wasn't tied up with the kids. I blame Haley and Lucas." She looked up at him with a bit of surprise at his comment.

"Oh, you know Lucas and Haley?" It pained Nathan how to see how innocently and obliviously she asked him this. He let out a breath before finally walking into the room.

"Uh, yeah, yeah I do. Haley is my wife actually, and Luke is my brother." She nodded, accepting what was new information to her.

"So I guess I'm pretty close with your whole family huh?" She asked curiously, apparently trying to piece things together. Nathan locked eyes with her for a moment before answering.

"Yeah, you could say you've got strong connections with the Scotts." He had known it would be difficult seeing her like this, but he was finding it harder than he anticipated. Haley had strictly warned him not to get into details about her life, not tonight at least. They had decided they would see how she was in the morning, and than figure out what the best pace was to start telling her things, and hopefully sooner rather than later she would begin to remember them on her own. He knew all this, but hearing her question such simple things about her life made Nathan want to just tell her everything. But it wasn't the time, and he probably wasn't the person to do so either. "I'm Nathan by the way." He said, suddenly realizing he hadn't told her yet. It was strange having to introduce himself to the girl he had dated for quite some time in highschool, and than became one of his best friends for all the years since than. She gave him a small smile of thanks. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, my head has yet to stop throbbing, the doctors keep tip-toeing around my questions about myself telling me to wait for later. Since I've woken up I've been visited by three people I should know, but I don't. One of which I made cry, another I rendered incapable of speech and ended up run from the room, and the last of which I'm now currently ranting even though basically all I know about you is your name." Peyton finished throwing her hands up in the air in an exasperated manner. He looked at her sympathetically, but couldn't help a small chuckle of amusement either. It was a relief to hear Peyton's nature come out, the familiarity comforting. She looked at him oddly as he chuckled, likely trying to figure out how he was finding thisamusing. She then brushed a stray stand of her curls off her face as she gave into a large yawn. He sobered as he saw the flash of exhaustion cross her face.

"I should let you get some sleep, I just wanted to see you, make sure you really were alright."

"I don't know that I'd say that I was alright Nathan. I can't remember the simplest detail about my life, would you describe that as alright?" She asked him with half irritation, half desperateness. Letting her words soak in he wasn't sure how to respond other than with reassurance.

"I'm sure it will all work out soon, we'll just have to have patience. You're a fighter Swayer, you've made it through many other tough things, I'm sure you'll make it through this one too. Just wait and see." He smiled at her before slowly walking out of her hospital room, closing the door behind him. He sighed, and gave a silent prayer that his words to her would be true.

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The elevator doors opened revealing the Scott brothers. They walked slowly out of the elevator, continuing the silence they had shared the entire ride over to the hospital. They made their way over towards Peyton's room, and just as they were outside her door Nathan put out a hand to stop Lucas from going in.

"Man you alright? You sure your up for this right now? You look about as tired as you did last night." Nathan watched his older brother carefully with concern. Lucas ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

"Well, I didn't exactly get much sleep last night. And as hard as it will be in there, its harder being away from her." He said his eyes starring at her door as if he could see right through it and was already looking at her.

"I've been trying to think of something to say the entire ride over here, but I just don' know."

"Its okay Nate. I'm holding up as best as I can considering the situation. Its when I start to think about all the possibilities, all the ways things could go wrong..." Lucas trailed off, his eyes darkening. Nathan seeing his brother begin to drift into those very thoughts, worked quickly to reassure him.

"You just got to have faith in her Luke. She's a fighter, you of all people should know that. She'll get though this, you'll both get though this, you always do." Lucas looked over at him with an unreadable expression for moment before giving him a sad smile. "Alright, I have to get to work soon so we should go in and see our girl-"

"Lucas Scott!" A familiar high-pitched, angry voice shouted from behind them. Both Nathan and Lucas turned around to see a seething Brooke Davis storming down the hospital hallway towards them.

"Brooke-"

"So I call Haley this morning," Brooke interrupts Lucas, "you know, to check in and see how things are going and everything. And to my surprise I find out that Peyton woke up last night and _no one_ bothered to tell me!" Brooke glared at him, and Lucas sighed and started to explain.

"Brooke, she only just woke up last night and-" But before he could finish his sentence he was cut off by Brooke smacking him in the arm. "Ow." Lucas said more in surprise than from the hurt. Though Nathan wouldn't be shocked if it had stung a bit, Brooke could put some surprising strength behind her smacks, she had had enough practice at it, and it had happened to Nathan enough times for him to know from experience.

"My best friend has been lying in a hospital unconscious for over a week, and when she wakes up you don't call her best friend immediately to tell her? How screwed up is that."

"We were a bit caught up in everything that was happening at the moment-"

"You called him." Brooke said glancing at Nathan.

"Haley was here when she woke up!" Nathan defended himself, Brooke rolled her eyes at him.

"I can't believe you two are about to go see her for the second time since she woke up, and I haven't even seen her once yet!" Brooke said indignantly, then suddenly stopping her rant when she glanced around and saw where exactly the three of them were standing. "She's in the same room right?" She asked, nodding her head towards the closed door behind them.

"Yeah-" Once again cutting Lucas off before he could say more, she brushed past him towards the door. Nathan heard Lucas give a small chuckle and mumble under his breath, "At least somethings never change." Lucas than strolled over to the nearby sitting area, probably choosing wisely to wait till Brooke was done visiting Peyton for him to go and see her. As Brooke grasped onto the doorknob she turned back to Nathan for a moment.

"Excuse me, but I'm going to see my best friend, and bring back her memory." She said with a confident smile. Nathan looked at her in confusion.

"Brooke what makes you think your just going to be able to immediately bring back her memory?" Brooke scoffed.

"Oh please Nathan, I'm her best friend."

"Brooke, she doesn't even remember Luke."

"So?" Brooke asked, raising her eyebrows at him. Nathan looked at her in amazement.

"If she doesn't remember Luke, her-"

"I don't care! I've know her and been best friends with her for years before she knew any of you. I'm her best friend. She'll remember. I mean, how could anyone ever forget my fantastic self?" She asked him rhetorically before winking at him and quickly slipping into the room.

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"She forgot me." Lucas looked up to see a sullen looking Brooke sink into the chair beside him in the waiting room.

"Brooke, Haley must have told you all about it, you can't say your surprised."

"Yes I know she told me, I just, I really thought when she saw me and talked to me she'd remember." She said looking up at him, her eyes swimming with a look of hurt and sadness. He reached out a hand and set it on hers in a comforting gesture. But suddenly thinking about something she had just said he quickly started asking her questions.

"Wait, what did you tell her? You didn't tell her much did you? And nothing to deep or confusing for her to handle? Because the doctor said-"

"Yes Luke, I know, Haley told me all about that. All I told her was that we had been best friends for most of our lives, and a few small things about some of the stuff we had done together to see if it'd help her remember, which it didn't. But no, of course I didn't jump right into any messy details about her past." Lucas let out a breathe of relief when she said that, it had killed him the other night to not tell her who he was, but he certainly didn't want to bombard her with certain things right way. He had no idea how he would ever tell her about everything at any point, let alone those being some of the first facts she knew about them. When he looked back over at Brooke he noticed that she looked slightly offended that he had so easily believed that she would tell Peyton about her sorted past, and he felt a small rush of guilt at seeing that.

"Brooke I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you, or jump to conclusions. I should have known you wouldn't get into all that the first time you were seeing her. I just, this whole thing is messing with my head, and I don't feel like I'm thinking very rationally right now." She gave a small smile at him, and turned the hand that was resting under his up and cupped his hand.

"Its okay Luke, this is a crazy situation, and your in a tough position in it all. Your allowed to think a little irrationally right now." He gave her hand a small squeeze of thanks before pulling his hand away and standing up.

"Well, I'm going to go see her." She stood up beside him, smoothing down her shirt, and nodding.

"Where did Nathan go?"

"He went to work, he was just coming to see her real quick before he had to go, but he decided to let you have your time with her and said he'd see her soon anyway."

"Well, I should be going too, I have to pick up some breakfast before I go to work." She leaned forward and embraced him in a quick but warm hug. She then broke away from him, giving him a sympathetic smile and then turning back and walking towards the elevators. Lucas watched her leave, then took a deep breath, bracing himself for his encounter with Peyton. He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to help himself feel more awake. As he walked over to her door he felt his heart begin to speed up, and when he reached his hand out to the doorknob he realized his palms were clammy. He let out a frustrated groan at himself. What was wrong with him, he was acting like a nervous teenager. He hadn't felt nerves like this about seeing her for years. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself before he turned the knob and opened the door to reveal the sight of the beautiful curly blonde he knew so well. At the sound of the opening door she looked up, and Lucas's eyes met hers. He felt himself mesmerized by those sharp green orbs of hers, like he had so many times before.

"Oh hello, Lucas, right?" He gulped.

"Yeah." He responded shortly before coming fully into the room. "How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, watching her carefully. She let out a loud sigh.

"I wish everyone would stop asking me that."

"We're all just concerned about you." She paused for a moment, watching him silently, and a smile crept up her face. She looked down at her lap before saying,

"I know."

"So, meeting Brooke didn't spark any memories for you?" He asked her, already knowing the answer but somehow still hoping it was different. She looked up at him slightly surprised, then her face took on an odd expression he couldn't read. She took a minuet to ponder on what he said, starring out the window as if in deep thought. When she finally spoke again her voice shocked him out of a trance he had gotten into while watching her.

"Is she really my best friend?" She asked him in a serious voice, looking at intently, waiting for an answer. Her question caught him off guard for a second, but he quickly recovered.

"Uh yeah. I mean, Haley and Nathan are your best friends too, but you and Brooke have been best friends since your childhood."

"Hmm." She let out in a breathy whisper. She turned her eyes away from him again, starring off into space in deep thought again. He noticed her forehead creasing and a look of confusion coming across her face.

"Is something wrong?" He asked her nervously. She didn't look back at him when she responded.

"Its just...she doesn't really seem like the type I would be best friends with." She looked back at him suddenly, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I don't like her, its just...she's so...perky." Lucas couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She tilted hear head to the side looking at him oddly. "What's so funny?"

"Its just, well yes she is indeed very perky. I can see why you might be confused about that one. You two are an unlikely pair. But somehow you've worked, more or less, really well together. And you've both been there for each other for most of your lives. You balance each other I guess." She nodded slowly at his words, seemingly trying to process it all. Breaking her gaze reluctantly for a moment he gazed at the clock and cringed at how late he already was. Returning his gaze to her he noticed she was still watching him. As their eyes locked onto each other again, he saw a pink color spread across her cheeks, and she broke his gaze quickly, looking down at her hands. He felt a smile tugging at his lips, pleased he could still bring that type of reaction out of her, no matter her state of mind. But before he could ponder over thishappy thought for long he remembered the time.

"I have some things I have to do, but I'm going to be coming back around mid-afternoon, the doctor wants to go over a few more things with you and do a couple more tests this morning, but after that they said some paperwork needs to be done and then your free to go home this afternoon." She looked up at him in hopeful surprise.

"Really? That's it, I don't have to stay longer?" His face broke out into a smile at her glee.

"Yeah, I mean your physical injuries they can't do anymore for, they'll just need some time to heal on their own. And well, the memory part, well that's what they'll be talking to you more about this morning, but there's really no point in you staying in the hospital for that. In fact they think that you going home, and being somewhere familiar will help more than anything." A grin had begun spreading across her face the entire time he hand been talking, and she now lay her head back on her pillow, sighing in happy relief.

"Thank goodness for that." He felt himself more lighthearted in that moment than he had been in the last eleven days, seeing her happy and smiling made him unable to resist joining her. Her smile was contagious. He always swore that there was some sort of unnatural element about her smile, because he could never resist it when she pulled it on him. It was something about her that drove him insane, but he would never have it any other way.

"Well," he said snapping himself back to the present, "I should really get going. But I'll see you this afternoon when I come to take you back home." She nodded happily, her smile still plastered on her face. He headed towards the door, but turned around when she spoke again.

"Lucas," she looked at him with a curious expression, the smile having already turned into a thoughtful frown, "are you ever going to tell me about who you are. Who everyone is. About my life. Or is everyone going to keep skirting around it?" He offered her a bittersweet smile before answering.

"Yeah, I will. I'll tell you more this afternoon. Don't worry, I wouldn't bring you to a home you don't know anything about. The doctors said we could start really telling you things now, we just need to take it slow, but no more skirting around. I promise." He looked deeply into her eyes, feeling her searching his eyes for the truth of his words. A small smile reappearing on her face he took to mean she believed what he had said. He gave her one more glance before tearinghis eyes away from her and walking out the door.

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"Well, hello beautiful." Peyton looked up to see a man standing in the doorframe of her hospital room. She looks him over trying to recognize him, but just like everything else, she is unable to remember the man.

"Hi..." The man gave her an odd look, with an expression on his face she couldn't read. He visibly shook himself out of his reverie and walked into the room. He looked at her shyly before moving his left arm from behind his back and revealing a large bouquet of flowers. Her eyes widened in surprise when he did so and then proceeded to hand them to her. She took them smiling at him gratefully.

"So, its true, you really don't remember do you. Not anything?" He asked her both curiously and hesitantly. She looked up at him while smelling the flowers.

"No, no I don't." He nodded slowly, watching her nervously.

"Thank you for these, erm..."

"Oh sorry hon, its Sam. Or," he said a smirk slipping onto his handsome face, "you could call me Sammy, as you love to do." Peyton looked at him in confused curiosity. Who was this man? Did he just call her "hon?" And did she really used to call him_ Sammy_? He saw her dumbfounded look and he looked at her tenderly. "Don't worry babe, I know you don't remember now, but you'll remember soon enough, I have faith in that. I'd just be careful not to question others about us, especially Lucas, because, well, this isn't exactly something anyone else is going to know about." He winked at her before continuing, "but I should probably go before anyone else comes, I just had to see you and make sure you really were finally awake and alright." He leaned over the bed and shocked her when he kissed her on the top of her head. "I'll see you soon, I'll find a way, I promise." He gave her one last smile before disappearing out the door as quickly as he had shown up. Peyton sat in confusion. Her mind whirling from what had just happened.

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"Hey you." A deep voice said at the same time he knocked on the side of her doorframe. Peyton looked up to see the quiet blonde enter her room.

"Hey." She said quietly. He smiled at her nervously, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Well, all the paperwork and everything is done, so you can officially leave. So I guess all that's left is for our conversation." She sat up straighter in the bed, anxiously awaiting the details of the life that was once hers. He grabbed the chair beside the bed and brought it closer to her, sitting down and getting comfortable in it. She watching him closely, practically waiting with baited breathe for him to star. He brought his hand up to his chin and rubbed it, in deep thought.

"Its hard to know where to start. And I still don't want to overwhelm you. But I guess I'll start with some basics, and than if you have questions we can go from there." He looked at her for her acceptance of the plan and she nodded in agreement. He sucked in a breath before starting. "As I told you before, Brooke has been your best friend most of your life, Haley and Nathan are also two of your best friends. Nathan and Haley are married, and Nathan is my brother. Haley and I have also been best friends since we were kids, like you and Brooke. Um you and Nathan used to go out for a little while in highschool," Peyton rose her eyebrows in surprise at this before he continued, "but early on in eleventh grade you two broke up because, well lets just say it wasn't the most healthy and functional of relationships. It was soon after this that...you and Haley started to talk and become good friends. Nathan and Haley have three kids, James, the oldest, is 8 now." Peyton's eyebrows rose even higher than when he had told her about dating Nathan, and then came crashing down to wrinkle her forehead in confusion.

"Wait, how old are they, Nathan and Haley, they don't seem old enough to have an eight year old." Lucas chuckled.

"They're the same age as us, 26." He watched her as she calculated in her head, but before she finished he continued on. "Yes, that means they had James at the end of their senior year in highschool." He said apparently amused by recounting their groups complicated and unique history. Her eyes widened slightly.

"Wow, a kid at 18, that must have been rough. But their still together, so it must have worked out okay for them to have gotten married." He looked at her in a way she couldn't interpret after she said this. "What?"

"They actually got married before they had the baby, I mean, they were married before she was pregnant." She felt even more confused, if they had the baby at the end of their senior year, it would have been at the beginning of senior year they had been together, but if they were married before she was pregnant...that would mean they were married in like, eleventh grade? That couldn't be it, she must have something off. When she looked back at him, ready to ask him to clarify he smiled at her in a knowing way, nodding his head as if he knew what she was thinking, and telling her she was correct.

"They got married before they were seniors in highschool, and when they weren't even pregnant?" She asked incredulously. He let out a small laugh and nodded again. "Wow, now that's love, or nuts, either one."

"Maybe both." They looked at each other and both laughed. A few minuets later after they sobered, she asked him,

"What about Brooke? What's her story?" She noticed his expression stiffened a bit, and his eyes darkened, but he kept his voice light.

"You two have had a bit of a rocky friendship, but your both there for each other when it counts. She isn't married or anything, but she's quite the businesswoman. She has a clothing line that's taken off and become quite popular."

"Wow, good for her." Peyton said, genuinely happy for the woman she apparently called best friend. She looked at Lucas again, her thoughts drifting. She was glad that they had found some sort of level of comfort. It was weird thinking about how different he was just last night, but than again the man seemed to in genuine shock last night. This must be more of what they were typically like together. He still seemed nervous, and maybe a little guarded, but at least he was talking to her with some level of ease now. Him being comfortable helped her to feel much more comfortable too. Thinking about all this she realized something.

"And what about you Lucas?" She asked quietly, looking him curiously in the eyes, "You've told me about all of them, but you haven't said anything about you. Every time you've said that Brooke, Haley and Nathan are my best friends, but you've never included yourself in that list. What's the story with you and me?"

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	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** You guys rock you know that:) thanks to everyone for the great reviews! It is so good to get feedback, and to hear what your thinking, I flove it! Sorry it took me longer to update than I was anticipating, classes kicked my butt this week! But here is the next chapter, it should answer some questions. I just hope I didn't digress to much. /shy smile/

I hope you enjoy!

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**Chapter 4**

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He knew that question was coming but somehow he was still taken aback by it. He had only succumbed to about tow hours of sleep the night before, the rest of these hours had been spent lying in bed contemplating all this. This was just such a strange situation to be in. It was one of those situations you saw in cheesy movies, not one you ever actually found yourself in. He had tried to come up with a simple way to describe his relationship with her, and to her. The problem was though that their relationship had never been simplistic. He wasn't sure where to draw the line on his explanation of their relationship. He could just keep it simple, giver her the basic facts. But he didn't think he could bring himself to do that. To not go into the complexities of their relationship seemed to cheapen it somehow. Though him telling her even a part of their complex relationship would probably overwhelm anyone. He was afraid of how she would respond to what he said when he explained what they were to each other. Would shee just accept it? That's what she seemed to have done fairly easily with what he had told her about eveyrone else. But finding out about friendships, with Nathan, Haley and Brooke wasn't as...intimate a relationship as they had. And the more intimate and intense the relationship, he would guess the harder it would be for her to simply accept. Just looking at her reacion to Brooke, he had seen her struggling to accept the facts of that relationship more than she had with Haley or Nathan. So how she would react to the news of her relationship to him was making his stomach churn in nervousness. What if she didn't accept their relationship, what would he do then? As this thought crossed his mind an involuntary shiver ran down his spine.

Several minuets had gone by in silence as he still contemplated how to answer her question. She was still watching him, her head slightly cocked to the side, blonde curls falling across the side of her left cheek, smoldering green eyes locked on him patiently, or perhaps stubbornly, watching for him to speak.

"Our story" he finally spoke, "is complicated, to say the least."

"I can handle it." She quickly responded with an easy confidence.

"Are you sure? I just don't want to put to much on you and ov-"

"Overwhelm me?" She finished for him with a tired tone. "Lucas, don't you think I need to know?" He didn't need to eve think about it, she was right. He was just unsure how to proceed, and afraid of the results of doing so.

"I don't know where to begin." He told her honestly. Her gaze warmed at the closeness of hearing the information. The smallest smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"How about starting at the beginning. And don't spare the details.

"Oh, are you sure?" He asked slightly hesitantly, "the beginning was a long time ago, a lot has happened between than and now."

"The more details the more chance for me to remember something from it. And in the meantime until I remember, the more I know of the past, the better I can understand whats in the present." She told him simply and matter of fact. After a moment he nodded before raking his had through his hair.

"Well, it all started, for me anyway, the first time I saw you." A small smile played on his lips as he recalled the memory, and she watched him curiously. "It was the summer before our freshman year in highschool. I was going to meet Haley and decided to take a different route. I was walking along when something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to get a full look, I saw a small, curly haired blonde sitting in a graveyard in front of a tomb. The girl had a sketch pad she was drawing fiercely on, and even from the distance I could see tears pouring down the angelic face that held so much pain. Ever since that moment I became hyper aware whenever I saw her around. I didn't understand it, but there was something about the girl that intrigued me. It wasn't until we started highschool that I found out who you were, finally able to put a name to the face I'd become so intrigued by. I always wanted to talk to you, but could never quite find the courage. We were in completely separate worlds but I continued to feel this pull towards you. The year went on, and you barely knew of my existence, mainly only aware of it because you were than dating my brother, who hated me at the time. It wasn't until the beginning of our second year in highschool that I finally got the opportunity, I was towing your car, and the courage to talk to you. Admittedly that first conversation of ours was...a bit rocky." Lucas smiled nostalgically, remembering the conversation as if it were yesterday. "After I joined the basketball team I entered into your world, and we started talking on and off."

"Wait," Peyton stopped him. He pulled himself from his memories and looked up at her face. Her forehead was crinkled in concentrated thought. "A few questions, who's gravestone was I sitting by? Why did your brother hate you? And why did your joining the basketball team bring us closer together?" She questioned him, eyes swimming with confusion. He closed his eyes for a moment to collect himself, and took a deep breath before answering.

"Basketball brought us more opportunities to interact both because Nathan was on the team, and because you were a cheerleader." His eyes were trained closely on her face, waiting for a reaction to the news of being a cheerleader, wondering if she would realize how odd a fact it was about her past. She crinkled he nose.

"A cheerlead huh?"

"Yeah, why?"

"That just, doesn't seem like me."

"How do you know?" He asked with a note of hope that she was somehow finding herself. She scratched the side of her head while sighing.

"I guess I don't. It just, doesn't sound like me, I guess. If that makes sense?" He could tell she felt the need for his reassurance.

"Well, you weren't exactly the typically cheery cheerleader. In fact I think you're the least cheery cheerleader I've ever met." He said playfully, remembering their first conversation. But the happiness seeped from him when he saw her blank and un-recognizing eyes. She didn't know what he was referring to, of course she wouldn't understand the reference. He should have known she wouldn't, and his second-long forgetfulness pained him. He gulped back the lump that had begun to from in his throat, and tried to plow forward. "Uh, as for why Nathan hated me, it was close to the same reasons I hated him. That's a complicated story too, lets just say it was daddy issues and leave it there for now, okay?" She gave him a small smile in the affirmative. As he gazed at her he found himself wrapped up in her eyes, they were the same as they always had been, but yet they were different, there wasn't the same spark there anymore. Lucas could only hope that spark would return soon, along with her memories. After a minuet he noticed she was watching him expectantly, and he realized he hadn't answered her other question. But how could he answer that? How was he to tell her the gravestone she had been sitting at was her mothers? Talk about overwhelming. "Uh, I think it would be best if I didn't answer your other question just yet either." He said cringing slightly, not sure how she would react. At first she looked like she was going to protest, but than must have decided against it and gave him another nod. He took her nod as a single to continue, so he jumped back into his, or rather their story. " Not to long later you and Nathan broke up. You and I almost got together, but you got scared of the commitment I wanted, and the intensity we already had in our relationship before it had even began. I then..." he paused trying to decide how to put the next events, "well, I tried to move on, and it was only once I had started dating someone that you finally came and told me that you wanted to be with and that you had just been scared.

"I wanted to be with you, but now I was the one who was scared, because I had been so hurt when you ran away without giving us a chance. So we both tried to deny it for awhile, but it was too strong, it couldn't stay hidden for long. When a stressful and emotional situation came up I was there for you through it, and that resulted in us getting caught up in thee moment, and we weren't able to deny are feelings any longer."

"Are you saying we cheated?" She asked in a stunned voice, casting him a nervous glance. He rubbed his chin in awkwardness.

"Yeah." He breathed out quietly.

"Lucas," Peyton said on a breath of a whisper. "How could we do that." She said, more to herself than to him, with disappointed astonishment. They had both gone through enough guilt over that situation already, and he didn't fee like revisiting all of that, so he quickly tried to move the story along.

"We wanted to be together, but we didn't want to do it that way. We both tried to go our own ways, attempting to rectify our wrongs. I had broken up with my girlfriend so we could be together, even though we never really got to that point, but she found out later anyway. I decided after everything that had happened that semester, all the mess ups I had made, especially with you, that I needed to change, to work on being better. I got so focused on trying to better myself, and on my own selfish goals that somewhere along the way you and I started drifting away from each other. I didn't realize this had happened until once when I went to check on you, cause I had seen you upset, you...very delicately pointed it out to me." Lucas's lips twitched upwards as he remembered just how 'delicately' she had treated him, yelling at him and kicking him out, and all. "It was than I also realized that you had moved on, or at least I thought you had. You wouldn't let me help you, wouldn't let me be there for you. So I decided if I couldn't do that I would call someone I thought could. That day Nathan pointed out to me that he could tell I was kidding myself, and that I still had feelings for a girl. I thought you had moved on, I had convinced myself that I had too, and I wanted make things right with the other girl, so I put my hope in my ex-girlfriend. I wanted so badly to make up to her what I had to her in the past, how badly I had hurt her, that I got caught up in that feeling. Somewhere along the way I lost myself . Near the end of the year you and I slowly began to get closer again, I was determined to be a better friend to than I had been earlier that semester. You and Jake had been in a relationship, but he left at the beginning of the summer. My ex-girlfriend was leaving for the summer, and I got scared of losing her too, like I had lost you, so I desperately told her I had feelings for her. She left anyway, not giving me any kind of answer. That night I was out on a walk thinking about everything, and I just had a impulse to go see you. You weren't at your house, but somehow I knew where to find you. You had some stuff going on with you and you didn't want to be left alone, so you asked me to stay with you. The only reason I gave a momentary hesitation was because of my surprise that you wanted me to stay. You were finally starting to let me in again, there was nothing I wanted more than that. That night was the beginning of us coming back together again. After that night we ended up spending the entire summer teogether, we became great friends that summer. I was so happy to have you back in my life, I didn't care what status you held, I just knew I needed you. At the beginning of our senior year I really thought I could have it all. I chased after the girl I had convinced myself I wanted and I finally won her heart again, and you were one of my best friends. It seemed like I had it all, that I should have been happy. Should have been being the oppositive word. Don't get me wrong, I cared about her, but even after we were together she was still so paranoid and insecure about my feelings for her. No matter what I told her it always came back to the same insecurities. And I could never really let her in. We had a pretty rocky relationship to say the least. Then the day came that would change everything." He hesitated momentarily, not sure if he should be telling her everything that came next. But she had said she wanted to know, and this was to big an event I their history to leave out. And besides, maybe a dramatic event such as this would be mor likely to strike a chord with her. "We, uh, well we had a school shooting." He watched her eyes widen in shock, and an expression of apprehension and fear entering her eyes. "You, got shot in the leg. I went into the school and found you, you couldn't walk so we ended up hiding in the library trying to wait it out. You were bleeding really badly." Lucas choked out. After all these years it still pained him to think about the pain she was in that day...at how close he had come to losing her. Peyton shifted positions on the bed, getting her full body to face directly in front of his. "You," Lucas was having a hard time controlling his breathing, it had become erratic in the last minuet or so. "Uh, you told me you loved me and then kissed me, and I let you. We didn't talk about it than. I eventually got you of the school, and they got you to the hospital in time to take care of you and you made out remarkably well considering. We talked about it later, well sort of. I was still in a relationship, and neither one of us wanted to go there again, we both tried to put up fronts that what happened didn't mean anything, that it didn't change anything. But of course it did. I honestly couldn't believe that you had meant that you loved me in that way when you said it. I _couldn't_ believe it. On some level I knew what you said was true. But I couldn't allow myself to fully accept that. I had a girlfriend in which I had promised not to hurt again, and I still believed you had moved on from me long ago. So I thought that if I even let myself start to wonder if you really meant it, that I would only end up getting hurt again. We went on like that for a little while, but than my girlfriend starting showing her insecurities again and was asking me to stay away from you, but I knew I could never really do that. She once again found out about us, and she freaked. I tried to tell her it didn't mean anything, half trying to convince her, half trying to convince myself. I saw her slipping away again, and I was scared again of not having either of you. And then exactly what I was afraid of happened, she broke up with me, and I lost her. And when I was hurting I automatically went to the one person I always went to, I went to you." He had been starring at his hands in his lap for the past few minuets as he had been recounting their story, not strong enough to hold eye contact with her the entire time. But when he said those last four words, he lifted his blue eyes, to meet her green ones. She was watching him intently, wrapped up in the story. Her mouth was slightly open, and her expression one of captivation. He wasn't sure if he was going into to much detail, or if he wasn't giving her a chance to ask questions, or even to react really. But once he got going on the subject of them he couldn't seem to stop. I mean, he had written a book almost entirely about her and them, so he was rather proficient at the subject. He took another deep breath, calming himself, and giving her a chance to speak if she wished. She didn't say anything, so he slowly took up the story again. "I tried to get her back fro awhile, but to be honest, looking back, it was a rather half-hearted attempt. You and I began spending even more time together. W were each others worlds. One night I almost got back together my ex-girlfriend, but than we both realized without a doubt that didn't have a future together, except as friends. After I left her I ended up going over to your place," a smile slipped onto his face, "somehow I always ended the day with you. Anyway, when I told you that I realized I was holding onto nothing in my, now completely over, relationship, you...you told me you loved me, that you were _in_ love with me. I had convinced myself for so long that you didn't have feelings for me that I was so shocked by you telling me that, that I couldn't believe it. I was in such utter shock, I just couldn't believe it could be possible that after all this time, that you would love me. So I did, very possibly, one of the stupidest things I've ever done, and I brushed it off, mumbling something about us being friends, and ran off. I thought you must be confused, that must have been it, because you just couldn't possibly feel that way about me again." Lucas took a shuttering breath before continuing. "I was so, afraid of going back to the place of having feelings for you again, because I didn't think I could take another heartbreak from you. But it seemed like everything the next day was pointing me to you. My conversation with Skills, Brooke asking me the same question you had asked me awhile back about who I wanted next to me when my dreams came true, and the memory I had of us, so similar but so different at the very beginning of when we were getting to know each other... We just won the basketball championship that night, and when Brooke asked me who I wanted standing next to me when my dreams came true, which it felt like that very moment, somehow my gaze went automatically to you. I hadn't known where you were in the crowd, I hadn't thought about it, but my eyes found you so easily, and of their own accord. And it was when I had that memory of us two years ago that I realized, it was you." The smile on his face had broadened to almost painful lengths. She seemed to want to say something, but every time she opened her moth nothing came out. He watched her splutter for a minuet, trying to give her time to find her words, but when she couldn't seem to do so he began to get worried. Maybe he had gone to far to fast. "Peyt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to give you to much information to process all at once."

"Peyt?" She breathed out, finally speaking. His grin returned slightly.

"Yeah, it's a nickname I have for you." He ran his hands through his hair nervously. "Maybe, maybe we should stop for awhile, have a little break, let you soak all this in." He offered, but she immediately shook her head fiercely.

"Oh no, no you don't. I can handle this Lucas. Yes, it's a lot to take in, but you can't stop now! What happened next?" She leaned forward eager to her more. He could tell she wasn't really as calm as she was trying to let on, he could tell from the look in her eyes, but he decided to humor her and not call her on it. Besides, he had to tell her the rest before he took her out of the hospital.

"Well, I told you how I felt after the game, and finally after everything we'd been through, we were together. Uh..." He thought about the rest of the events that happened that last, deciding to skip that drama for now. He had gone on long enough, he had to tell her the basics of what had happened since than, but there were too many years to be detailed about it. "After that night we were together pretty happily until graduation, never having troubles really. You left for the summer for an internship in LA, after you got back we both went to the same college nearby Tree Hill, so I could be close to my mom and new baby sister. We were together through about the first two years of college. Near the end of our second year in college we started fighting a lot, the stress was getting to us, and in a heated, confusing, stressful mess we ended up breaking up." He gulped back the lump that had grown in his throat as he remembered the events of that, it had been one of the worst nights of his life. She was looking at him with perplexed curiosity. "W were apart for about 6 months. We both tried to move on, but eventually we realized, just like in highschool, we could never move on from each other. It was always going to be there between us. We got back together, and were dating for about 6 months before..." Lucas trailed off. His eyes were boring into hers. The tension that had been looming around them the entire conversation suddenly increased ten-fold, and it was threatening to choke Lucas. Her lips parted slightly as she let out a small puff of a breath, meeting the intensity of his gaze. After several prolonged moments she finally cleared her head enough to find her voice.

"Before what Lucas?" She said in such a soft and quiet way that he barely heard, but yet the meaning behind the question hit him so hard it was as if she had screamed it at him. If he had been scared about how she was going to react to any of their history, this was the part that scared him the most. Not willing to trust his voice, he instead chose to answer by raising his left hand, revealing a simple gold band resting upon his finger.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Hi waves shyly I know its been an insanely long time, but I actually haven't forgotten about this story or abandoned it, I will finish it. So here's an update, and I will be doing them regularly from now. I hope there are still some people interested in this, if so it'd be really appreciated to hear that in the reviews. I'll stop talking now and let you read :p Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

She stared at the gold band resting on his finger. What did this mean? What was he trying to tell her? It seemed as if...well the most logical answer would be that he was married, to her. But that couldn't be it, she wasn't wearing a wedding ring. So, perhaps he married someone else? But than why go into such detail about their past. And if he had married someone else he must have skipped part of the story, because that just didn't fit into where he had left it, the two of them happily together, apparently. If he did marry someone else than something very...unpleasant must have happened between her and Lucas, if he was unwilling to tell her about it, most likely from fear of overwhelming her. Even though she already had plenty to feel overwhelmed about. But she had asked for this, all information, nothing held back, and she would be damned before she let anyone see that it was indeed starting to overwhelm her. She took a calming breath and tried to collect her thoughts. She just needed to think calmly and rationally. If he had married someone else, after some sort of bad turn of events with her...what would those events be that separated them? One scenario flitted into her mind; pregnancy. He had gotten another girl pregnant when they had been apart, and when he found out he married the other girl. Unfortunately this seemed very probable with what she knew so far. Great, she really know how to pick them, she thought sarcastically as she turned her gaze to his face. However, as she sat looking over at him, his face a mixture of emotions, vulnerability radiating from him, his exhaustion overpowering his defense of nonchalance, and as she thought about what he had said...she simply couldn't believe he would do such a thing. She could not explain it, but she was hit with the intense confidence that he would never betray or forsake her, that he would never leave her. And the question rose again, why would he than tell her all about their complicated history? Perhaps it was her he married...but than why was she not wearing a ring? Could it have something to do with divorce or separation? If it did than why was he still wearing his? Maybe it was some sort of separation, and she had initiated it or was the main one that wanted it, and he was still holding out some kind of hope by wearing his ring. That would certainly explain his reluctance to delve into the further details of their relationship. But than...she started feeling a headache coming on, while rubbing her temples she decided to break the silence that had grown between them, tired of guess work she asked him for answers, wether it be good or ugly.

"What-what are you saying exactly Lucas?" He had been watching her intently as she had been processing, which felt a lengthy time but in truth it was rather short. But the time she had taken had been enough apparently for him to collect himself a bit more again. He cleared his throat before responding,

"I mean, you and I, we got married." His blue eyes pierced into her green ones.

"We did?" He simply nodded watching her with a cautious gaze. She had to close her eyes against his gaze, bracing herself for what may come next.

"And then?"

"And then?"

"And then what, Lucas? What happened with us?"

"Well, then the next big thing for us was the-"

"Divorce?"

"-children." They both froze for a moment, Lucas with a shocked expression adorning his face, "Wait, divorce? Why would you say that?"

"Oh, is it just a separation than?"

"Divorce? Separation? Peyton, I don't know where that's coming from, but no, absolutely not to either of those things. We are most certainly not divorced or separated." Lucas said in both disbelief and hurt. Peyton saw the hurt in the wrinkles on his forehead and the pain shining in his beautiful eyes. She felt a sting in her heart for knowing she was the cause of his pain. She looked away from him, not being able to keep eye contact any longer.

"Oh-Lucas I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...I just..uhh, I don't know what to say." She rambled, feeling flustered. Despite not looking at him and doing her best to look like she was extremely interested in the blanket laying on her bed, she could still feel his eyes on her.

"How 'bout you tell me why you didn't think we were married anymore." He said this in such a quite and soft manner she couldn't help but bring her eyes back to him, surprised that there was no anger or frustration in his voice.

"It was just...I mean, your wearing a ring..."

"Yes..." he prompted her to continue, obviously not seeing her point.

"But I'm not." At the sound of her words his expression changed noticeably, it wasn't happy per-say, but his eyes did seem to reveal some relief, the tinniest of smiles flitting across his face.

"Oh." He said simply at first, seemingly still fully letting her words sink in before he continued to explain when he saw her curious face. "Peyt, when they brought you in that night, you had landed on your hand and twisted it a bit, your fingers were swollen so they took off your rings. They gave them to me in a bag of a few other personal items you had on you that night." Peyton simply nodded in response to his explanation, feeling silly for not having considered such a simple explanation.

"So you have it?"

"Yeah." He smiled. "Actually, I have it right here..." he trailed off as he brought his hands up to the collar of his shirt and started pulling something out from under it. As he raised his hands above his head she saw it was a chain he held in his hands, and putting it in the palm of his hand to show to her she leaned forward to see two simple but beautiful rings laying on the chain that he had just taken from around his neck. It wasn't until he spoke that she realized she'd been holding her breathe while staring at the rings.

"Your missing engagement and wedding rings." She finally tore her eyes away from the rings sitting on his hand and looked straight into his eyes asking in wonder,

"You wore them around your neck since I've been in here?" He gazed back at her with adoring affection shining in his eyes as he answered easily,

"Of course. I wanted to be by your side the whole time, but I obviously couldn't be here every second, so I wanted to have part of you close by at all times." She waited a few moments before she dared asked,

"Can I...?" She motioned toward the rings still sitting carefully in his hand.

"Of course, they are your rings after all." He brought his hand closer to her and she picked the rings up with such delicate care as if they could shatter at any moment. "Your fingers haven't completely finished with the swelling yet though, so you'd probably want to wear them like I was." His obvious concern for her touched her in a surprisingly deep way. She gently raised the chain over her head and let the chain fall to rest over her hospital gown. When she returned her gaze back to Lucas she saw he was still staring at the rings, looking like he was in a different world.

"Lucas?" She asked curiously.

"Hmm?"

"There were a couple other things that made me think we weren't still married..." she trailed off but upon his encouraging nod to go on she continued, "well, when that guy came to visit me the first night, Nathan, he called me Sawyer. I thought your last name was Scott?" He met her questioning gaze before letting another small smile fall on his lips.

"Yes, I'm most definitely a Scott, and so are you. Sawyer is your maiden name, and its always been a nickname Nathan had for you, and the day of our wedding he straight out told both of us that despite you becoming a Scott he was still using Sawyer as your nickname, no matter what either of us said." She let out a small chuckle, and he joined her. "That's Nathan for you." She saw his eyes brighten as they shared in their laughter. He hesitated for a minuet, seeming to not want to ruin the more light-hearted mood that had descended upon them, but eventually brought himself to ask, "What else was there?" She took a breathe, not quite sure how to go about asking him about this but she didn't know how else to answer this question.

"There was someone else who visited me." She glanced back down at her hands, avoiding his gaze as she struggled with how to word her question. "His visit rather confused me about some stuff and I really don't know what to make of it. I don't even know if you'll know, but I have to figure it out so-"

"Mr. Scott?" A nurse asked as she stepped into the room. "I'm sorry, but I just realized there was one page I forgot to have you sign." She handed the page over to Lucas and he gazed down at the document looking it over. Peyton watched him scrunch up his eyebrows as he concentrated on what he was reading. She was still in shock that he was her husband. She had married him and she didn't remember a single thing about it. It seemed so strange to have lived this whole life and simply not be able to recall it, having others tell you stories you should be able to be telling yourself. How was she supposed to live when she got out of the hospital today, she had no idea how to do whatever it was she normally did. She was going home with someone she barely knew, as far ss she was concerned anyway. What was she supposed to do, just play wife until she remembered how to really do it? That is if she remembers at all, and if she does who knows how long that will take. The doctor had told her to just do what she normally did, be where familiar things were, which she needed Lucas for; to tell her what these things and places were. How could they just throw her into this unknown situation? How was she really supposed to deal with that? She shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. This was not helping, she was only getting herself worked up. She had to stay calm and collected. At least that's what she kept telling herself. A she took a couple deep breathes to help calm herself she saw Lucas hand the papers back over to the nurse, and the nurse smile gratefully at him before walking back out of the room.

"Sorry about that." Lucas smiled at her. "So what was it you were saying?" Peyton took a breathe, looking deeply into his eyes she made a quick decision.

"You know what, never mind."

"You sure?" Lucas asked her, looking skeptical.

"Yeah I'm sure, its not important."

"Okay, its just you seemed to think it was-"

"Wait, wait, wait." Peyton interrupted him. She sat there dazed at what she just remembered. "Lucas, earlier, did you say," she gulped "children?" Lucas looked at her a bit shocked at her delayed reaction, but than the expression on his face changed to something she couldn't figure out. He looked down at his lap where he played with his hands nervously for a minuet before taking a deep breathe and looking Peyton in the eyes again. His eyes swirling with a mixture of emotions, he said quietly in a slightly strangled voice,

"Yeah, I said children. Our children." Peyton just stared at him with her mouth slightly agape. Her mind felt like it was on major overload. Apparently it wasn't enough for her to have a husband she didn't remember, who was about to bring her back to a home she didn't remember, but apparently that home had children she didn't remember. How could she not remember she was married and had children? It just seemed impossible for her to have no idea, no hunch or inclination at all, of such important things in her life. But when she remembered he said children earlier and realized what he had said, it had truly been a shock to her, she had not even considered the possibility of having children in this equation.

"Peyton." Lucas said trying to talk to her but he could tell she wasn't really hearing him, so he leaned forward and rested his hand on top of hers, calling her attention back to him. "Peyton, I'm sorry, I don't mean to spring this on you. I understand what a big thing this is to tell you, and I wouldn't be putting it on you so soon if you weren't coming home today. But you are coming home today. And I thought it'd be better for me to tell you here than for you to find out by them tackling you as soon as you enter the house." She numbly nodded to show him she had heard what he was saying, but she was still feeling in a daze. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. "So I hope you understand why I'm telling you this now. Its just such a delicate situation, but it also felt a bit of a lose-lose situation. I mean, I don't want to overwhelm you be telling you about them because I know what a big shock it must be for you, and your already processing so much, but it really is better you come home today so that your actually around familiar surroundings, so you had to know. And who knows, maybe the kids will help jog that memory of yours." He attempted a smile but it came off weak as he watched her blank face not showing any kind of readable reaction. "Peyton...Peyt, please say something." He gave her hand a small squeeze as another plea for her to respond. He jumped slightly as her head shot down to look at his hand covering hers. She hesitated for a moment before moving her hand out from under his and turning her head away from him. She could see out of the corner of her eye that a wave of pain washed over his face as he stared down at his empty hand now resting on the bed where hers had been moments before. Her stomach churned seeing him look so sad, but she just couldn't have him touching her right now, it was to much. She heard him take what sounded like a shaky breath and then spoke again, this time in little more than a whisper. "Peyton, please don't do that. Don't push me away." Her head snapped back to look at him and she shot him a glare.

"Who says that's what I'm doing. Maybe I just don't want you touching me."

"I know you. As soon as you get hurt or scared, you run. You run away, and you hide inside yourself, and throw up those damn walls that could rival the Wall of China. Don't do that, not with me. I know you."

"Stop it, just stop it!" She said sharply, her voice raising. "Don't say how much you know me. It just makes it harder." She then turned her head so she didn't have to look at him anymore right now, because if she did she felt like she wouldn't be able to control what she said. A couple of minuets ticked by and neither of them moved or said anything. Finally she heard Lucas stand.

"I'll give you some time to yourself. When your ready to go home I'll be right out in the hallway." She didn't say anything in response, stubbornly starring at the same spot on the wall that she had been looking at for the last several minuets. She heard him sigh and then slowly walk out of the room. She held strong for another minuet before the tears that had been building up in her eyes finally couldn't hold anymore and they slowly began their graceful descent down her cheeks as she cried for the family she couldn't remember.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: **Thanks to everyone for the reviews-super encouraging! This one gave me a bit of trouble, so I hope you all still like it :)

**Chapter 6**

He sat slumped against the wall, arms resting against his legs as his hands cradled his head. It had been at least ten minuets since he had left her room, and he still hadn't managed to completely collect himself from the encounter. He was feeling so many emotions at the moment, yet at the same time he felt completely numb. She was pushing him away again. He thought they had gotten past that years ago, and now he was sitting in the same position he was back than, all their progress erased from her mind. And when she had taken her hand away from him as if burned by his touch he had felt a specific pain that only she could bring, a pain he hadn't had to endure for years. But he had to reign in his emotions and keep himself calm, for both her and the children. The children...despite knowing full well that she would not remember them, it had still been extremely difficult having to watch the reaction of shock to the news of their children. Peyton and he had both agreed numerous times in the past that besides their wedding day the days their children had been born were the best days of their lives. Such cherished memories he used to share with her were now lost in herself, and no one knew how to get them back. He would help her to remember though, he would show her how much love they shared, and he would get her to remember. He had to, for Haley, Nathan, and Brooke's sake. For the children's sake...for him. She had to remember for him...he didn't know what to do without her.

A soft noise alerted him to her presence. He looked up to see her stepping out of her room. She stood silent for a moment, and he simply stayed there watching her and waiting for her to cue him as to how things would proceed between them. She sifted her weight nervously from one foot to the other before she finally met his gaze and shyly said, "I'm ready to go." He studied her face carefully before sighing, her face was completely emotionless, a blank slate, and frustratingly unreadable. A classic Peyton shut down. He stood slowly, cautious about his movements, as if he moved faster he may spook her. He instinctually went to take her hand when leading her from the hospital, however, remembering her harsh reaction a few minuets earlier he quickly retracted his hand before it was to close to her. His hand twitching from the reversal of the action and the lacking of her palms warmth in his. Instead he turned towards the elevator and she followed, and they walked out of the hospital in silence.

X

They had been in the car for five minuets and neither of them had said a word, continuing their tense filled silence. Her mind had so many thoughts and questions she barley knew where to start. Looking over at him she took in his appearance, hair rumpled somewhat untidily, forehead creased with wrinkles either in his concentration over his driving or perhaps his mind dwelling on their current situation, she wasn't sure which. His jaw was tight and his eyes stormy with heavy emotions, giving his face an overall tense but also weary look. She worried her lip a bit before finally vocalizing some of what was in her head.

"Lucas," her voice, though soft, seemed to shock him as it broke into their silence, jumping slightly he glanced over at her before returning his eyes to the road. "About before...when you told me...I was so shocked that I never asked about them." She paused for a beat before just jumping into her questions. "How many do we have? How old are they? What are their name?" He let out a low chuckle as she seemed to ask these questions in one breath. She was watching him carefully waiting for his answers, and she saw a soft smile appear and his eyes lighten as he began to speak.

"Two. We have two. Keith is five and Anna is two...Keith got your gorgeous green eyes and Anna got my blue eyes. They both have messes of blonde hair, but Anna definitely got your curls. Keith is a little genius for his age, he was reading way earlier than most, and he's constantly surprising us by his perceptiveness. And Anna is my little princess, but your sass has already started to show up in her here and there, she's gonna be a force to reckon with when she's a teenager." She had listened to him talk about his-their children in silence, and was now looking at him awe. His tone was soft when he spoke of them, affection ringing in his voice. His eyes sparkled, and a smile was plastered on his face, he didn't seem conscious of his openly loving expression, to caught up in his thoughts of his beloved babies. Almost all the stress and tension that had been on his face before had disappeared when he spoke of them, and she couldn't help but let her own smile grace her lips at all this. However, her smile wavered as she saw his expression start to cloud over again, presumably being brought back to reality by the memory of why he was having to explain this to her. She sucked in a breath before asking another question that was nagging at her.

"Did...did you tell them about me, about what happened to me? That, that I don't remember them...?" Her question trailed off quietly. Her children, her babies, she couldn't remember them. What an awful thing for a mother not to be able to remember her children. How could they ever understand that? How could they ever forgive her that? How could she ever make it up to them? The questions probably would have kept coming if Lucas hadn't interrupted her thoughts with a heavy sigh and answering the question she had posed him.

"I...they're still so young, you know? It's a hard thing to explain. They knew you got hurt and that's why you were in the hospital. As for your memory...well Anna is to young to understand. Keith though...he heard Haley and I talking about it, so I had to explain it to him as best I could, but I'm not sure how much he truly understands." She swallowed thinking about the little five year old trying to understand why his mother couldn't remember him. She hadn't even seen him yet but the image of him looking up at her with innocent eyes was already making her emotional. She turned her face away from Lucas and angrily wiped away a stray tear that had managed to escape.

They pulled up into a driveway of a modest looking house. It didn't look flashy or fancy, but it certainly looked loved. There was a small porch stretching around the house, a rocking chair sat to the right of the door and at the bottom of the porch stretching across the front of the house there was a small flower bed. Lucas parked the car and they sat there in silence for a minuet, preparing themselves. Lucas let out a breath and turned to her.

"You ready?"

"No." She answered him honestly. How could she be ready for this? But she didn't have a choice, she had to do this. "Lets go." He nodded at her, trying to send her assurance in his gaze, but she could also see the unease and anxiety in his eyes. They got out of the car and slowly began walking to the front door. As they went she looked around trying to absorb all the details of the outside of her home. Lucas unlocked the door and pushed it open, allowing her to walk through first. She stopped into the entryway and took in everything with wide-eyed curiosity, like a newborn amazed at all its new surroundings. They were standing on a wood floor which spanned the hallway leading to a living room at the right, a staircase straight ahead, the door to what looked like a kitchen was at back of the opposite wall from the staircase, and the wood floor continued into the dinning room on their left. Phonographs were covering the walls of the hallway, and she made a mental note to examine each closely later.

"Haley, we're back." Lucas called into the house not knowing where she was. They heard some shuffling noises and just a moment later Haley emerged from the kitchen, the little girl, Anna, resting on Haley's hip as she carried her, and the little boy, Keith, was holding her hand. Anna's face brightened as she saw Peyton.

"Mommy!" Came the high-pitched happy squeal. The little girl immediately started wiggling away from Haley, and as soon as Haley set her down on the ground she came running towards Peyton. Peyton was nervous, but instinct took over as she knelt to the ground to meet her as the little girl with her bouncing blonde curls threw herself into her arms. Peyton felt a rush of emotion as she held the little girl, she was so small, so fragile, she was almost afraid of breaking her, but she also felt a deep desire to hold her for as long as she could. Anna finally pulled away from their hug after a minuet and ran over to her father and hugged his leg before he lent down and swept her up in his arms, kissing her on the forehead. Peyton couldn't help smiling as she watched the two interact, then she turned back to where Haley had come to stand, Keith still standing with her holding her hand. He had a look on his face of mixed emotions, his eyes were bright and shining with happiness the same way Anna's were, but he looked hesitant, maybe even scared. Peyton's heart ached at the thought that her son might be scared because of her, even _of_ her in a sense. She felt conflicted and unsure what to do, she wanted to comfort and assure him, but she didn't want to get his hopes up either. She simply wasn't sure the best way for her to act in order for him to understand the situation as best he could. Lucas seeming to sense her hesitance, spoke up.

"Hey buddy. How 'bout coming and giving your ma' a welcome home hug?" Keith looked up at his father tentatively. Peyton looked back and forth between them, Lucas holding Anna as she snuggled into his chest, and gazing back at Keith as they shared a moment of silent communication. Keith satisfied with Lucas's assuring looks and encouraging nod, finally let go of Haley's hand and slowly walked over to Peyton, who was still crouched down on the ground. He stopped right in front of her and they simply stared at each other for a beat before he gently lent in and hugged her around the neck. Anna's hug had been everything of fun, excitement, speed and tight embraces, whereas Keith's hug was slow, hesitant, and oh so gentle. She snuggled her face into the hug as she tried to restrain herself from picking him up, twirling him around and telling him there was nothing to worry about. After he slid out of her embrace he gave her a small smile, and though you wouldn't know it by his actions she could see in his eyes a sparkle of excitement. Keith than went over to his father and hugged his leg as Anna had done before, gazing over at Peyton as he bit his lip only restraining his smile temporarily. Peyton took a deep breathe as she looked at the three people beside her, tentative, happy, hesitant, excited, scared, hopeful, confused, loving, broken,...her family. She wasn't sure how they were going to fix this, but she was determined to do so. Though she still had no memories of them from before she woke up in the hospital, she felt her heart swell with affection for them. She had loved them before, she could love them again. She let out a deep breathe ash she stood back up, her eyes returning to the other person in her room. Haley sent a gentle smile her way.

"How you feeling?"

"As good as can be expected I suppose." Peyton responded shortly, really having no idea how to describe everything she was feeling at the moment. Haley gave a small nod and lingered a moment before she spoke again.

"Well, I should go, Nathan's probably wondering what's taking me so long."

"Yeah, sorry we were longer than I originally thought. Thanks for looking after them Hales." Lucas said gratefully. Haley waved her hand dismissively.

"You know I love spending time with these two little angels." She said as she came up to Anna and gave her a Eskimo kiss, Anna giggling all the while. She bent down and bumped fists with Keith.

"See ya later buddy." She said affection ringing in her voice. She then gave Luke a chaste kiss on the cheek before turning and giving Peyton a light hug, grasping Peyton's shoulders as she came out of the hug she looked Peyton in the eyes and told her simply but passionately, "Your gonna be okay." She nodded as if to re-affirm her statement even more and then quietly slipped out of the house. As the door clicked shut behind her the room was left in an awkward silence. Peyton looked over at Lucas not sure how to proceed. Anna wiggled in Lucas's arms and spoke up,

"Aunt Haley was helpin' me and Keith to draw." She told her parents happily. Lucas looked at her affectionately.

"Oh is that right Anna-Banana? You want to show your mom and I your pictures?" Anna shook her head forcefully.

"No." Lucas raised his eyebrows, and Peyton felt a smile spread on her lips at the little girls antics. "Not done yet." She said simply before wiggling out of Lucas's grasp so he let her back down on the ground again.

"Ah yes, you certainly did get that from me didn't you." Lucas spoke more to himself than to her, a wry smile on his face as he watched her scamper off back towards the kitchen, Keith chasing after her a moment later. Lucas chanced a glance over at Peyton and she returned his gaze for a moment before they followed after their children. They stopped at the doorway to the kitchen, watching Keith and Anna as they continued their coloring.

"Anna certainly does have spirit and enthusiasm doesn't she?" Peyton asked quietly, a smile playing on her lips.

"She always does." Lucas responded in an equally quiet voice. "And Keith...he's going to be very interesting one to have to deal with when he's a teenager." Peyton tore her eyes away from the kids to focus on Lucas as she asked,

"I thought you said Anna was going to be the tough one during the teens?"

"Oh she'll be challenge enough for sure, she's hard enough to keep up with now, I can barely image what she'll be like when she's older. But Keith, he's gonna be a different kind of challenge. We've both definitely passed on our broody ways to him, getting him to open up now isn't to hard, but we have to keep up with him and be careful because he's already started learning how to throw those protective walls up." And I bet this whole situation isn't helping him any, Peyton thought sadly. "To be honest those teen years with him scare me a bit, its so easy to push your parents away at that time, and I just hope we can keep a good and close enough relationship where he doesn't totally shut us out. I don't want him to feel alone, we both know how hard that can be." While he had said all this he had kept his gaze on the children in the kitchen, but he slowly turned to look at her. She couldn't stop watching him...he had been so open with her so easily, and the look on his face as he talked about Keith, there was just such evident love there that it awed her at the immensity of this mans love. It was the second time within an hour she was struck by his openness and his obvious love for his children. His deep blue broody eyes starred deeply into hers as they shared a gaze which gave her shivers. She wasn't quite sure what it was about him but he had this whole probing-deep-angsty-longing-look down, and she couldn't help but be drawn in by it. He looked at her in a way that totally terrified her, but thrilled her at the same time. He could convey so much with a simple look. And unlike most of today, this time his emotions were unmasked in his eyes, (caught up in the moment she suspected) he wasn't worried about guarding his thick emotions in order to protect her, thus longing, passion and love shone clearly in his intense gaze. She realized how hard this must be for him, having his wife not only not return that feeling but not even remember once having it. She could easily see what kind of a man he was, he was kind, gentle, and a loving father...but she just couldn't make herself feel the way she once did, not without getting to know him again, not without remembering. Her mind started to numb though as their gaze continued. She really couldn't have said how long they stood there starring at each other like that, she was so caught up in the moment, it was mesmerizing. She was so focused on trying to read what was going on in his head by studying his beautiful blue eyes that she didn't even notice that he had slowly begun to lean closer to her. His movements were so slow they were almost unnoticeable, and she didn't even notice how close he had become until he was inches from her face. She suddenly stiffened at his proximity and the circumstance she found herself in. She wasn't ready for this, she knew that for certain, but she didn't want to hurt him more than she knew he already was, so she was stuck and once again at a loss as to what to do. However, she was saved from having to make that decision herself as he stopped abruptly lingering close to her for almost a moment, his eyes flashing wish something she couldn't recognize before he sharply pulled away from her. She shook her head trying to clear it of the fuzzy state it was in, and looked at him standing there awkwardly, his cheeks flushed, and eyes focused on the ground. Before she could say or do anything he quickly turned around and walked back down the hall and went swiftly up the stairs. She stood there unable to move, staring at the spot he had been moments ago.

X

He was an idiot. He was a total and complete idiot. What had he been thinking? Well that was simple, he hadn't been thinking at all. She had freaked out only a hour ago over him taking her hand, and there he was about to kiss her? Idiot. He hadn't planned it, he hadn't even realized what was happening, not until he had glanced up into her eyes once before he was about to close the gap between them. Seeing in her eyes an abrupt change from what had been there previously, and something he never wanted to see from her, most especially when he was about to kiss her; fear. She had looked scared. He had scared her. This was going to be harder than he had originally thought he pondered, running a hand through his head while pacing the upstairs hallway. He had not intended to go that far, they had just shared such a nice moment, it had almost felt like normal, and he had just...dang it he had just wanted to kiss his beautiful wife. And for a moment he had thought she had wanted him to too, but than he had seen that fear... He was going to have to be very careful, restrain and control himself around her. He couldn't have her being afraid of him, he had to have her comfortable with him so he could help her remember so that they could truly could go back to normal. He just prayed that was possible.


End file.
